Full Exposure Marriage
Recently we were asked if it is wrong for a spouse to want to know their spouse’s social media passwords and phone’s passcode. Honestly, we hear this type of question quite often. When we were dating, we carried pagers with us because indiviual cellular phones were not in use yet. For those who may not know, back in the old times (1995’ish) we would carry a little black box on our hips, called a pager, and when someone needed us, they would call our little black box and type in a number where they could be reached. Today, couples can instant message each other and connect with people through multiple apps on multiple devices that often encourage individual privacy. But God’s instructions for marriage within the Bible mention none of this and do not change with technological advances. The instructions from God are still correct and applicable to marriages today.
The Lord says that two are to become one flesh in marriage. Achieving this oneness takes time & intentionality. You are becoming one flesh. One way to achieve this is to be open & safe with one another. You must trust in one another and fight to keep your marriage strong and safe.
My husband and I share all of our passwords. We also have shared bank accounts. Our face can open either one of our phones & we know the passcode too. There isn’t anything that we restrict access to. We use joint names on our social media accounts. When either of us text a friend of the opposite sex, we usually make it a group text with our spouse included. (There are obvious exceptions to this). This level of openness says to your spouse “I trust you and you can trust me, too” and it lets others outside of the marriage know that we have a marital bond we intend to keep.
Did you know that the enemy of our soul hates marriage because it was designed by God? God wants us to be one flesh with our spouse & the enemy wants just the opposite. He wants us to lie & cheat & withhold from our spouse because the enemy is only interested in the death of your marriage!
Remember, your marriage is a sacred covenant that you and your spouse have with God. The firm foundation that your marriage is built on is Him! Would God want either of you to be anything other than completely open, honest & trusting to one another?
Our marriage should always strive to be a beautiful display of the gospel message.
There shouldn’t be any secrets in a healthy marriage. So we’ve always had access to each other’s phones/email etc and I agree with having joint bank accounts. I know cpupkes who keep ‘their’ money separate and that causes a lot of strife.
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